The Rwandan Birthday

Being right on the equator, it gets bright pretty quickly, but I managed to wake up and make it outside just in time to see the most incredible sunrise…..for some reason everything is just more spectacular in Africa. I cannot possibly think of a better way to spend my birthday than the day that followed. On Sunday, August 28^th our team of students woke up planning to spend the morning worshipping with our Rwandan bothers and sisters.  Having been to several (culturally) different churches, most of Sunday’s activities did not come as a surprise to me.  Just like any church service, we sat and stood multiple times for worship, prayers, scripture reading, and finally sat in expectation of the message. After the sermon, there was a special act of worship; a dance.  After a while the dancers had us join in, sorry my fellow Baptists! ;)  This was awkward and uncomfortable for us, but the act in itself was beautiful.  The freedom these people have in Christ is evident far beyond their time of dancing.

The emphasis of our trip to Rwanda was to learn about the Genocide, and we saw several effects of it first hand at church that morning.  One woman even had a 4 inch long machete slash on her forehead….the people there almost act as if the genocide itself never occurred, but the scars and the memorials remain. 

For the next three nights we stayed at a Catholic guest house outside of Kigali, and there was a memorial right outside our room…..less than 20 years ago people were slaughtered right there.  I don’t understand how people can act as if nothing ever happened.  Even the woman with a gash in her head did not seem to doubt God’s goodness and plan through it all.  

Although this birthday was spent learning about the death of others, I have never before seen so much life.  

The Here and Now

After spending 25+ hours in the air, we arrived in Uganda around 7 p.m. (East African time) last night.  We stayed in the dorms of UCU (Uganda Christian University) for the night to prepare for a busy day ahead. Today has been filled with meetings, meetings, and good food.  Tonight I will meet my host family and spend the evening with them.  Tomorrow me and 29 other students will head to Rwanda for the week.  Since it is the “winter” season  over here, we are wandering around in 80 degree weather….not too bad, if I may so say myself.  I am greatly anticipating what the next 4 months hold! 

Leaving is hard, but going is easy.

Over the past week, saying goodbye has become difficult as the time to go to Uganda approaches.  I hate sad, sappy moments when everyone feels like life will never be the same, but I guess they are right.....Life will never be the same.  Today I realized that life never being is the same is a good thing.  Some people adapt to change a little bit better than others, but I think it's more about the willingness to embrace change rather than change itself that really, well, changes us.

What brought this to my attention is a passage that I recently shared with a friend as I was dealing with leaving.  In Matthew chapter 4 (verses 18-22), Jesus calls his first disciples.  In verse 19, Jesus gives them a simple invitation: "Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men". The response of these fishermen blows me away.  Verse 20 says "At once they left their nets and followed him".

In bold obedience, the first disciples dropped everything they owned, knew, and loved to follow the calling of Jesus.  I can't imagine the thought process of these men! To give up everything immediately.  I wish we all responded to God's callings in this type of obedience!!


 At this point in time, the disciples had no idea the adventures that would take place in their own lives as a result of following the Savior.  On the other had, they also had no idea of the heartache, disappointment and punishment they would face.

In my own life, whenever I have to make a decision, I think about how it immediately affects me-not the end result.  I wonder which of these is more of the disciples thought process.  If I were on the boat that day when Jesus called them to drop everything and follow him, I would have hesitated, just like I did when I was beginning to apply for the Uganda trip.

I knew being accepted for this trip meant leaving everything I knew and everything (and one) I loved.  That was my first thought, not the end result.  I knew that leaving in itself would be one of the hardest things to not only do, but also explain to everyone else.  I will never forget the response of the students at Central when I told them I was going to Uganda for a semester.....they focused on the immediate effects as well.  With disappointed faces, I heard "you're going to leave us?" over and over again.  That broke my heart.  I tried to explain  my leaving in a positive way by saying that it was only for a semester, or that I would be doing mission work, but no matter how I said it, my leaving meant things were changing: that life would never be the same.

The disciples may not have known what to expect as the end result of following Jesus, but their instincts at the time told them it would be worth it.  I knew leaving everyone would be hard for me, but I knew that going to Uganda would be worth it.  The disciples learned in one day what took me 7 months to realize: Leaving is hard, but going is easy.  When you are doing what you know you are supposed to do, it becomes worth it, no matter the cost.  For the disciples, this meant leaving their family, friends, jobs, and a consistent life, and they did it anyways-yet we hesitate at even the smallest beckoning of the Holy Spirit out of fear; we fear our plans and our lives getting interrupted.

I pray that we all become obedient to God's leading-even if that requires leaving and going, because even if we don't like it, life really will never be the same.

Time, or lack there of.

This evening I was talking to a friend and realized that I leave in 32 days....we might as well say a month.  As expected, summer has flown by, and several of the things on my "to do" list have not exactly gotten done, and several things have gotten pushed to the side. To me, how you spend your time is a reflection of what you truly value in life.  Looking back over summer thus far, I feel much time was wasted.  In this case, wasted time means placing value on things that do not matter (or should not be my focus).  There were some great things accomplished and some lives changed, but so much more could have been done if I was more focused on things beyond myself. 

My prayer for all of you and myself as I prepare to leave for Uganda is this:  Let us set our minds attention and our hearts affection on Christ.

Time with the Lord is never time wasted, but valued. 

Proverbs 20:24- Obedience Does Not Require Understanding

          Even though I am fully aware of my leaving in August, it is still very strange to tell others my future plans.  I know I'm going to Uganda, but it still blows me away for some reason. At Central, graduation for the high school seniors was this past week and we spent sometime on Sunday listening to them talk of their future plans.  When I was in their stage of life (three years ago) I had my next 10 years mapped out....90% of what I'm doing now is not anywhere close to the plans I had then.  

         Several of the seniors have not committed to a life plan, a major, or even a school yet, but are simply waiting for the blanks to be filled in on God's timing.  I'm not disappointed in  not following the plans I had leaving high school, in fact where I'm at now is so much better than what I had planned anyways. As my plans changed over the years I did not understand why, and I still don't, but I listen to the One leading me anyways. 

As I was spending time in the Word this morning I was reminded of the fact that it's okay to not understand what you're doing or how you got there.  

"A man's steps are from the LORD; how then can man understand his way?" 

 

Thankfully we are not required (or expected) to always understand, but to simply obey.  Obedience after all, does not require understanding, but action. 

My Decider

At Central we just finished a series titled: "One Word".  We were all given a small stack of post-it notes to write down simple words that describe who God is to us.  With that being said, I should explain that college is a weird place to be in life. You're on your own with a million different directions and possibilities.  There are so many decisions to make that you develop this fear of one wrong choice determining the rest of your life. 

I ate lunch with a friend who is in the same boat as me earlier this week and as we talked, a new word came into mind.  Decider.  We have all these choices to make, but the truth is God takes care of all that for us! He is our Decider.  Below is my own version of Psalm 23 that has led me to a greater trust in our Savior. 

The Lord is my decider, I shall not choose on a whim.

 He makes unsurpassed plans for me; Ones I could never fathom. 

He restores my focus in times of distress.  He leads me in paths of purpose

 for His name’s sake. 

Even though I walk in blind paths, I will fear no direction,

for You guide me with Your Word and hand,

 they bring me to commitment. 

You prepare the ways I go in the presence of the confused;

You anoint my feet with trust; my ways are boundless.

Surely your light and truth shall lead me all the days of my life

 And I shall live in Your will forever.

God Knows Everything

I know the title of this post seems ridiculously obvious, but I somehow find myself always needing this reminder.  The past few weeks have been full of frustration for me as I prepare to make major decisions about life post Uganda.  It's crazy to realize that only a semester of college is left for me once I get back...that means really figuring out what I'm going to do with my life.  There are so many places I could go and things I could do, but the real question here is not what I am going to do, but why I'm going to do it and who is leading me there. 

My biggest fear is that I will end up in this incredibly ideal situation, but miss out on what God wants for me.  As I was spending some time praying for guidance today I was reminded of this simple truth: God knows everything.  So maybe my "decisions" are not a matter of deciding, but waiting.  Waiting for God to point out the direction, the answer, the plan....for some reason He does this in small steps.  I guess it wouldn't be waiting without those steps! 

As I wait and listen, listen and wait, I long to see what God is going to do, because lets face, He already knows.  As I wait, I find comfort in knowing that He already has it covered.  No matter what plans we have for the future, God is still the one calling the shots!

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand." Proverbs 19:21

Trust Him.