In the society we live in there are no problems recognized in spending hours in front of the television. We seldom find family-focused programming that is advantageous and appropriate for all ages, yet most children, teens, and adults spend approximately 3 hours in front of the television everyday. I recently came across a well-known show that has since 2002: The Bachelor.
For those of you unfamiliar with the program, The Bachelor is about 1 man seeking a “mate” in a sea of females that dropped their current lives in hopes of becoming “the one” for this man. In the show these women share a living quarters together while also sharing the bachelor; they fight for his attention and affection and compromise their reputations in the process. ABC describes the show as follows:
The series revolves around a bachelor courted by 25 women. The show follows the bachelor as he goes on a series of dates with the women, some of them group dates, some one-on-one dates.
On each episode women are eliminated, generally during the rose ceremony at the end of the episode, but sometimes on the dates (during what are called "elimination dates").
The process culminates towards the end of the season with a few of the women going on overnight dates and meetings between the bachelor, the women, and their respective families.
At the end of the show, the bachelor is to pick one woman with whom he would like to continue a relationship. Sometimes he proposes marriage and sometimes other levels of commitment.
There are several problems with this picture. For starters, there are 25 women and only one man. This sends young girls a wide, difficult range of messages; that they should be the pursuers, and not only should they pursue instead of the man, but that they should be fighting for this man’s attention along side other girls. This goes against the Biblical truth of being precious, rare, and worthy of being sought out.
The show has an interesting twist in have “one-on-one” dates along with “group dates”. On these group dates the bachelor attempts to spend equal time with all of the girls, sending the message that a guy can disperse his attention and it’s perfectly acceptable for the girl(s) to sit on the sidelines and watch when he is not with her. Again, if a girl is to feel valued and precious, how is this to happen when she is the focus for 10 minutes and then put to the side as he moves on to the next girl?
Being unbalanced and unrealistic is only the beginning of the subliminal messages youth gather from this series. These women are hungry for attention and what they call love, and they are sacrificing their modesty and dignity to do so. Standing by and watching as these women dress (or undress) for attention and momentarily receive it from this man sends girls the message that it is ok to dress inappropriately for attention, and not only is it approved of, but it works!!
Since all of these women are fighting for the heart of the same man, they are willing to do whatever it takes to make the others look terrible. This includes lies, seduction, betrayal, and even the occasional brawl. While all of this is going on, teens are interpreting this as a means of survival and a way to get what you want when you want it. It sends the message that these things are acceptable when they get you ahead in the game-yet we wonder why this generation is all about self and doing whatever it takes to be ‘happy’.
As I mentioned before these ladies put their lives on pause to pursue this bachelor. While I cannot imagine sacrificing my time, plans, and agenda to spend time with a man and 24 other ladies, these women compromised their dreams and aspirations in hopes of finding love. In the ending episodes of the show the remaining women spend the night with the bachelor and begin really discussing the possibilities of the future. Not only do these women give up their lifestyles of pre-bachelor, but they give themselves away sexually in hopes of winning the bachelors love. All of this is done before he even commits to one of the ladies. Dreams and aspirations can be compromised and changed, but sex cannot. We have belittled the sacredness of sex and the value of trusting God to draw us to one another in His timing. Girls need to know their worth, not feel like they are dispensable.
