I realize that porn is an uncomfortable and touchy subject,
but it is high time to clear the air. We
(Christians) fight on many fronts and it seems that pornography is continuously
gaining strength and velocity. It has permeated our culture, our homes, our
marriages, our children….
Our culture has normalized porn; things that used to be
absolutely scandalous to discuss outside of the bedroom are now part of our
common vernacular. Culture has
shifted. Think about it, in the last 50
years, we’ve gone from wholesome television to sex and adultery on nearly every
station. We’ve moved from divorce being
the exception to being the norm. Abortion, homosexuality….the list goes on and
on. We have become desensitized.
First things first.
We (yes, even Christians) are sexual beings. Sex is a deep and instructed desire in our
hearts. God placed it there; which means
He intended it for good. But if we don’t
know the holy premise behind the pleasure, we become ill-equipped to handle
temptation, ill-armored to fight sexual fixation, and ill-willed toward a God
who we think demands obedience for the empty sake of obeying moral law.
So what makes porn such a big deal? It is clear that sexual
sin has deep, personal and spiritual ramifications. Paul exuberantly warns the church at Corinth
to flee sexual immorality. Why? Because
every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the person who is
sexually immoral sins against his own body (1 Cor. 6:18).
Our kids and teens are being targeted with mature content by
the world. A friend of mine recently put
it this way: “Many of us grew up in an atmosphere of church, abstinence, and
pornography, and what it did to us I don't fully know. But many young boys and
girls are fighting a losing battle because they don't feel like anyone will
help them lift that shameful burden. Men
and women can resist porn. Boys and girls (especially boys) are another story.
They are facing Goliath and have neither rock or slingshot.”
For our generation within the church, purity and pornography
somehow coexisted and we are seeing the ramifications play out in front of our
very eyes. He described pornography as a “shameful burden” and I cannot think
of a more accurate description. It’s a
known evil, yet we have done a terrible job giving children, teens, and even adults
the proper tools (weapons, really) to fight against it.
So how do we deal with this ongoing battle against
pornography? How do we join a brother or
sister in the fight? How do we help our
children guard their hearts and minds? In order to lift this burden; in order
to find freedom, it must be talked
about. Our silence is not moving us toward purity.
We must attack the root rather than just the fruit.
We’ve gotten really good at treating the symptoms without
killing the disease. The truth is, not dealing with it God’s way has damaging
effects on the Christian life. If
desires and thoughts are not fully dealt with God’s way, or sufficient action
isn’t taken, the temptation remains persistent and grows even stronger.
We are too plausible to
ourselves, suppressing the light of conscience, rationalizing what is wrong so
that it seems like the most natural thing in the world.
Shame is the barrier to freedom. Believers must be willing
to do what He says to do about our sin. While
Paul warns that sexual sin has deeper ramifications, it is still sin and should
be treated as such. You don’t have to deeply
search the Scriptures for instruction on how to handle our sin, for the Bible
makes it quite clear. The answer is never to hide it, avoid it, or justify it;
but to confess and repent from it.
We (the Church,) know that porn is not okay, yet there’s
just as many viewing it within the Church as there is outside of it. We need sexual discipleship. Yes, you read that correctly. Right (biblical)
thinking leads to right acting (behavior); it is not the other way around.
We’ve become sexual
atheists-acting as though God has no authority in this particular area. The purpose of sex is intimacy (being known),
but we’ve become fixated on the path to intimacy; instant gratification.
And the truth is, you can’t put
to death what you believe is keeping you alive.
Until someone is willing to push through the “shame” that is connotative
with sexual sin and pursue confession and repentance, we are merely treating symptoms
rather than the root issue. We don’t need to normalize pornography; we need to
normalize being transparent about our struggle with pornography (and sin in general).
Churches are great at the “what”, but not so great with the
“why”. We need more than behavioral
correction; we need pure hearts. And the
only way to get there is to:
- quit justifying and rationalizing
- look beyond individual shame for sexual sin
- seek support and accountability
Resources:
Addictions-A Banquet in the Grave, Ed Welch
Killing Sin Habits, Stuart Scott
Making All Things New, David Powlison
Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, John Piper & Justin Taylor
Sex, Jesus, and The Conversations the Church Forgot, Mo Isom
