Let Him Be A Man

Back in my college days and early 20’s I was just as “I can do anything a man can do” as the next gal.  (In fact, with being a Ministry Major in college, men outnumbered me tremendously and I took great pride in excelling beyond them academically.)

I’ve spent quite a bit of time in the Word since then studying gender differences along with our biblically defined roles and I’ve come to one major conclusion: I can’t do everything a man can do and I don’t want to.

Men have a high calling and that’s a lot of pressure.  They were created to give; to serve; to protect; to lead.

Now don’t get me wrong here, women aren’t meant to be yielding airheads that have no value and lack the ability to be self-sufficient.  But we’ve somehow managed to make everything about us and the poor guys can’t win for losing.

If a man tries to do something for us, we feel the need to “prove” that we can do it for ourselves. But once we’ve nagged and exasperated guys to the point of them no longer trying or desiring to do nice things for us, we complain about how they not very gentlemen-like.  Ladies, we can’t have it both ways.

At the previous church that I worked at, I had a super precious co-worker, and bless his heart, his momma raised him right.  But as I said before, at that point in my life, I felt the need to prove myself and wouldn’t let the poor man do a single thing that I could do for myself.  To be honest, there were even times that I did parts of his job before he had time to just so I could “out work” him.

Well, one day this co-worker and I were heading back into the office (which required a keyless card entry) and we both rushed toward the door to open it.  Fed up with my belligerence, he steps between me and the door, looks me in the eye and says “Wesley, let me serve you in this way.”  

That was a game changer for me.  He wasn’t looking for ways to lord over me or exert his authority. He was trying to serve me.

Ladies, we have nothing to prove here. Men weren’t intended to be our competition; they were meant to be our companions.

Having A Mary Heart In A Martha World

In Luke 10, Luke tells of Jesus and some of his followers arriving to the village of Martha and Mary.  You’re probably familiar with these two sisters and their very different personalities.  Martha is the “worker”.  She keeps herself busy taking care of all the minute details that no one else seems to even think of (or likely care about).  Mary is the passionate “free spirit”. 

Martha, doing what she does best, busies herself with all the preparations. While Martha is working away, her sister Mary is found seated at the Lord’s feet, hanging on His every word.  Likely overwhelmed by the pressure of hosting and being caught up in cooking and cleaning (been there), Martha whines to Jesus. “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Tell her to help me.” (Luke 10:40)  

But Jesus does not rebuke Mary.  Instead, He compassionately tells Martha: “You are worried and bothered about so many things, but only one thing is necessary.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:42)

May we choose what is better and necessary even when life gets busy.

God, Teach Us to Care

On Tuesdays I usually counsel at the Ruby Snider Ministry Center.  Ruby Snider is a food and clothing pantry available to those in need within our county.  Clients are able to come in every 4 months for assistance and prior to leaving with clothes and food, each client is required to meet with a counselor where he/she presents the Gospel and prays with the individual. 

I’ve had a bit of a Summer cold all week and to be honest, the last thing I wanted to do was go serve at the Center today.  As you can imagine, we encounter folks from all walks of life in the counseling room.  Some have truly come into desperate, crisis-type situations, while others just know how to “milk the system” and live off of the government.  There are many times that I walk clients through the process and complete the forms all while knowing that I’m being manipulated and lied to. 

The easy response is to become frustrated and cynical, but then, right when you’re on the verge of wanting to give up on humanity, you meet someone completely broken and in need of not just food and clothes, but in need of true Hope. 

One of my first clients this morning was a tall, rough looking man in his mid-thirties.  He was new to the Center, so I needed to see his I.D…..he mumbled as he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket.  His only form of identification was a “felon” I.D., which pretty much consists a photo printed on paper that includes his name, date of birth, and when he was released from jail. 

Clearly embarrassed by the piece of paper now in my hand, he apologized and with tears in his eyes asked if I would feel more comfortable if he met with a man instead.  This man was clearly hurting and the last thing I wanted to do was make him feel more ostracized…he didn’t make me feel uncomfortable or in danger; he made me feel sad. His past mistakes were still looming over him, and his future didn’t seem all that promising either.

This morning Psalm 72 was included in my Bible reading plan.  You’ll never guess what is talked about in Psalm 72: the needy, the poor, he who has no helper, the weak, and the oppressed.

If we know anything about the character of God, we know that he cares for those that are destitute; for the people most easily subjected to oppression and violence.  God not only cares, but he redeems…let that sink in.  Do we care for the “lowly” like the Lord does?

The Extravagant, Sinful, Forgiven Woman

Simon, a Pharisee, heard about the miracles Jesus had performed and invited him to dinner at his house. This could have just been for appearances sake, or perhaps Simon was sincerely curious about this famous miracle worker.  Either way, he’d heard about Jesus and wanted to learn more for himself.  Whatever Simon had in mind for the meal, things didn’t turn out the way he’d planned.
 

During the meal, a woman entered the room.  It was common for uninvited guests, even beggars, to sit along the periphery of a room, listening to conversation and hoping for leftovers.  However, this woman’s entrance seemed to grab everyone’s attention because she had a notorious reputation. 

 Some scholars speculate that she may’ve been a prostitute, in financial debt, the wife of someone with a dishonorable career, or a woman who’d committed adultery.  We don’t know the reason for her shame, but the community did-they knew her background, talked about her, and looked down on her. 

The uninvited, sinful woman shockingly broke cultural taboos.  She dared to approach Jesus, an honored religious teacher.  Then, taking on the job of a servant, she cleaned and anointed His feet.  In a culture of strict gender segregation, she dared to touch Jesus’ feet-with her tears, her hair, and even her lips.  

Jesus’ reaction was equally shocking: He didn’t recoil from her touch or publicly reproach her.  Instead He accepted her worshipful expression of devotion, love, intimacy, and gratitude.  He defended her. He used her as an example of one who “loved much” (Luke 7:47). 

The woman didn’t care about what people said or thought about her-she just wanted to serve Jesus.  She was unashamed to show her love for Him.  She understood the deep forgiveness of Christ and wanted to serve Him.  

Who are you in this story? 

The judgmental, uptight onlookers? 

Simon? Who pretends to have it all together and know it all, but is missing the big picture? 

Or the sinful woman that sees her deep need for a Savior and is willing to give extravagantly and humbly draw near to the Forgiver?

I'll Make A Man Out of You

If you’re a Disney fan, then you immediately heard the beat of a drum and Donny Osmond singing as you read the title of this post. For those of you that are not Disney fans, or too young to remember the movie Mulan from 1998, here’s a synopsis: Mulan is a girl, the only child of her honored family. When the Huns invade China, one man from every family is called to arms. Mulan's father, who has an old wound and cannot walk properly, decides to fight for his country and the honor of his family-though it is clear that he will not survive an enemy encounter. 

Mulan, who just got rejected by the matchmaker (arranger of marriages) because she had set her on fire, decides to prove that she is worth something and steals away to take her father's place in the Chinese army. Mulan then joins the other troopers at a training camp under the leadership of a man named Shang. Shang has a zero-tolerance policy for weak, lazy, immature men-hence the name of the song I’ll Make A Man Out of You. 

So many women have a Shang approach to dating. I love a good project-as do most women-and that has unfortunately carried over into the dating world. But ladies, it is NOT our job to take a boy and mold him into a man.  

Trying to be in a relationship with a man’s “potential” is risky (not to mention exhausting!). You find yourself investing all of this time and energy all for the result of little-to-no return. What we see as building him up and encouraging him, turns out to just be making things more convenient for him. STOP. IT. 

It’s like hiring an employee and giving him a complete benefit package before he’s even become qualified for the job. He’s not going to learn the necessary skills when you are over compensating for him. In fact, he’ll do as little as possible; just enough to get by and get what he wants. Do you really think enabling him is going to push him to higher levels? 

It’s not your job to build a man.

Questioning God's Goodness in the Midst of Hard Things

I am the queen of pity parties when things don’t go according to my plans. The last time that I dived down into my self-induced pit of despair, I really wanted to be mad at God.  How could He let such things happen to me?  Doesn’t He love me anymore?

Have you ever had this type of dialogue between yourself and God? Over the years I’ve learned that in times of adversity I am forced to become utterly dependent upon the Lord and His strength.  In fact, the hardships we face are often instruments used to bring us to this point.

What does the Bible have to say about difficult, challenging situations in our lives? James tells us to consider it joy when we encounter various trials. Why? Because the testing of our faith produces endurance (James 1:2). 

Endurance isn’t a word that surfaces often in my vocabulary. To have endurance is to suffer through the trials patiently. I don’t know about you, but when I am in the midst of a trial, I just want to get through it quickly. And I certainly don’t consider at the time what the situation could be teaching me or how it could be changing me for the better.

I find great comfort in the fact that God sees it all; He knows how things are going to end and while it may seem bleak to us, the future is not dark to Him! We know all of these truths as believers, so why do we continue question God and His goodness in the midst of hard things?  We question God when our hearts are not lined up with His.

“Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen in temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

God doesn’t ask us to act as though our problems do not exist.  He asks us to trust and endure the process, knowing that He works everything out for our good. We can rest assured that the trials of this life are temporary. 

          Perhaps the hardships of life that you wish you didn’t have to face, are your opportunity to see the rescuing,

redeeming, enabling, power of God working in you and through you.  May we endure well.

Pro-people in a Pro-choice World

With an emphasis on the sanctity of life throughout the month of January, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the “my body, my choice” mentality in our culture today.  

  All throughout Scripture children are described as a blessing and a gift from the Lord.  But as we are well aware, our culture considers children an inconvenience and all too often as “optional”. 

 I think it’s pretty clear as to where the Church stands on these matters in theory, but what about in practicality? Of course we don’t want that baby to be murdered, but is the Church a refuge for scared, single mothers that have made the choice to keep their unplanned, fatherless child? Or do they feel the weight of judgmental glances and whispered remarks? 

 Sanctity of life goes beyond unborn babies, it extends to those we encounter that have made poor choices, are in poverty, and even those that are just flat out different than us.

In 1 John, John not only speaks of the great love of the Father, but calls us as children of God to mirror that love one to another.  This love he speaks of is a visible, tangible love; not mere words and concepts. 

 

 “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”

1 John 3:18 

May our actions match our stance on life. May our love go beyond our words. May we be “pro-people” and not just pro-life.